Saturday Madness

Do u know the amount if courage I need to swallow these pills?. How painful it is when I realized that I just dozed off and not knowing when I did? With the amount if pills I've swallowed it just surprises me why I am physically and mentally still in agony. I'm trying to survive here with all these people trampling all over me 24/7. If I wanted my life to be scrutinized and broadcasted, I would have entered AF or one million or that protege programme thingy! Enough with all those hatred! I'm the one insanely hurt to the max. And what do you get? A billion or two? I'm in bed , crying . My body aches like hell!