Monday, January 10, 2011

What is mightier than the sword?

Pic taken from :

In this modern world , bla bla bla,
the keyboard is more relevant right?.

Well, this always happens to me.
My words in the w.w.w seem to be able to upset people in many different ways.

I seldom talk , not vocal at all.
I do not express my anger by saying out because , i have to admit  when i do ...
my emotions would blow up like fireworks!

I did encounter a few face-to-face fights with another being.
And it did not turn out well.
I was screaming my lungs out
And embarassed myself.

So after sitting and sleeping and walking over that thought.

I decided to type it on paper/screen bla bla bla.

I expressed my frustrations on FB.

Hihihihi... my hubby laughed about it
but  he did say
"Please remove it"
in a very loving manner that is.

So I did.

Then I heard my hubby say,
" I know that you are very upset. You need to vent out your anger and what not.
Do not worry, I will be here for you and so is Mak"

I think that is all I need to live peacefully.
[ other than the support from my own family and close friends.]

I should only mind what my Hubby and his mother thinks about me.

Why bother about what others think?
When I know that I did nothing wrong.

I have been keeping that anger in me for years.
I had to let it go.
I do not want to be abused emotionally , just because some finds that I am an easy target.

Yes, I am quiet when you meet me.
That is simply because I do not know you that well.
My family and close friends are the only ones who will see me chatty and all so-happy-go-lucky.
I talk ALOT!
Seriously I do. And my hubby talks MORE!

It would take a long time for me to be warm with others.
Simply because I have had many bad experiences.

People talk bad things about me all the time.

I guess it is because:-
1. They want to cover  up their own mistakes.
2. They want to forget their problems.
3. I am kinda timid and an easy target.
4. I seldom fight back in these situations.
5. They are just plain evil.
[Bad heart, Mulut Longkang!]

The same thing keept happening to me since secondary school till now.
Friends, enemies, relatives , close friends , strangers....what not
tend to find it easy to bad mouth me.
And they are always able to find faults in me.
 They must be leading a crapy life.

So that is why I really cannot take all these s**t anymore.
Hence I find it a must to rebel at times.
[ That is after you poke me more than twice ya!]
Alhamdulillah...eveything is well for me.

My father did tell me many-many times.
"Zui, when you are angry , please try your best to keep your thoughts intact in your heart.
Because the words that you use are like a sword.
You are so direct and specific."
" But then not to the level where those people can bully you and abuse you.
When that time comes, defend yourself."

p/s i wonder , are you reading this? [ you know who you are - it is karma babeh!]



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