Depression & Me

I have been battling with depression for years actually..way before 2007.

This i have been hiding from everyone.

And now it is happening again.

The thing that differs now is that , i vow to overcome this alone.

I will not seek help because i am starting to sound like a broken record player.

People are starting to get annoyed and i am losing more and more people.

Rules i have set and vow to abide:-

1) no more emotional status updates in twitter and Facebook.

2) less talking - i will seal my lips with tape if i have too.

3) when i am starting to have visions of me cutting myself - i'll just go to sleep or go out for a drive.

4) i am going to stop taking sleeping/painkillers/anti-depression pills.

5) i am going to spend more time on the payer mat.

6) i will read more books  and take up a new hobby.

7) no more retail therapy.

After reading the above list , i think i will end up like Wilson in The Lotus Eater.

So the chances of me dying alone facing the sunset is very high - hahahaha.

Some would say that i should parade my illness to the whole world.

but i think it would benefit a few - people who are facing the same problems as i do and people who do not know what depression is or what depressed people are thinking about.

It would stupid and evil for you to use the entries in my blog against me one day.

But if you decided to - i have nothing to say other than good bye.

APA DIA? IMAN TAK KUAT?

Kalau tak pernah depressed - ayat nih sure akan keluar.

Go fly kite la!

p/s i know yaya will be running to daddy to tell him about this entry like you always do - 

go ahead yaya. you are on your own this time.