and i cried myself to sleep.

Please do not ask me again if am i pregnant or not.
I am now getting this question daily.
I would try my best not to be answer it sarcastically.
Because who would not , when the questione is asked daily.

The next right thing after getting married is not to produce babies dear people.

It is all in Allah's will.

And at the rate of the painkillers i am taking each day - it is not advisable for me to get pregnant.

I am sure everyone wants a healthy baby right?

I am sorry to say, but this is getting on my nerves.

I got married at the age of 31- and it is considered anakdaratua for some.
I was not that sensitive when people kept asking me when i am getting married.
I was stronger back then i guess.
My parents were not worried seeing their daughter unmarried at the ad of 30 -
 but why do i get mean remarks from others?
And now the mean remarks continues.

Now that i am married - people ask. Are  you pregnant?.
Nowadays i would just say - no! i am just fat!

Yes i have gained weight.
Different people take stress differently.
Some eat,
some sleep,
some starve themselves,
some commit suicide - or attempt to
some would even kill another.

Which one is me?
Go figure!

Yes - i take pregnancy as a personal matter.

If you really want to strike a conversation with me but have no idea what to talk about - just go back to basic - talk about the weather!

I personally think that i am not ready yet to get pregnant- i am sick!

Migraine.
Sinus.
Back Pain.
Knee Pain- might lead to arthritis.
Asthma.
Depression.
Minor thelesemia.
I vomit 2-3 times a week.
I wear specs.
and the list goes on...

It is all in Allah's will dear people.

Some rumors have already been spread by unpaid paparazzi about me.
Infertile - family planning - ada hantu dalam badan - bla bla bla bla.
get a life la!

Some people would just do anything to spread rumours about me.
It is a never ending story.

My love life- my carrier-my marriage-my friendship-my relationship - me being fat - me bing sick all the time - me not coming to work because i needed extra treatment - me buying bags and bags - me buying books and more books - me driving an 8 year old car - me wearing charm bracelet - me having 4 cats instead of trying for concieve - bla bla bla
ALL HAVE BEEN TALKED ABOUT by PEOPLE WHO HARDLY KNOW ME!

Do they get paid for doing so
Or is it self satisfaction of spreading bad things about me is?

Yes i cried myself to sleep last night - because my whole body was aching and i could not do anything about it - i took 3 painkillers and two sleeping pills in the end - so that i can sleep and get up this morning to go to work.

I tend to  keep things to myself now - when i am in pain or sad - i would just cry to myself.

Because i do not want to get this remark "Asyik sakit jer!"

I have a very lonely life -  hence the four cats -they bring me joy that no one can

I do not need many friends because people try to go against me in the end -
hence i have a handfull of close friends.

Seriously - if you do not bug me - i would not bug YOU!

but once when you hurt my feelings real bad - i would just strike you off from my i-will-call -and-chitchat-with-you list.

If you continue hurting my feelings - well i just ignore you. I seldom spread rumours about people.

p/s perut i memang buncit tahap tak normal .