Crappy shit!

I am going to be 33 soon and my life is full of shit. I am not doing what I desire.instead I am forced to do the things I hate.hence my life is cut short by 10 years. These medications I am taking for this manic depression is causing me more than my life.I might be begging for food sooner than I anticipated. I was betrayed lately. By someone. And this time it is really bad because it is so unethical for her to do so. And now I am suffering the concencuenses. I am so fucked up (mind my German) I often find myself crying to sleep or sleeping while driving. I bought tons of books that I intend to read. But now all of it are in the box labelled UNREAD books. At this moment I am also watching crayon and miming playing on my bed (hubby Ali will scream if he finds out) but I can't do much about it because they are so manja with me. All of mmy 4 cats and 2 kittens are. Things have changed and the world is getting more cruel each second, people backstab you as often as you wink. I was such a happy go lucky soul for goodness sake! and it was taken away from me by people who I respected ( as they are at east 10 years older than me) Such a biatch they are and such a mouse i am for letting them control my passion for teaching. Now I am stuck. Confused. And gonna get booted. Might as well I kick the bucket ASAP. It is 1231. I need to sleep. To be able to get up and drive WITHOUT hitting a motorcyslist, a bus , a lorry or another car!!! Oh ya , mimpi jumpa Farid Kamil tadi. He had a crush on me. GILER LAH!