Wide awake?!

It is 1:23am and I can't sleep. I have to sleep. If not I will have a tough time waking up for work in 5hours. My hubby Ali is sick. Kinda worried because he seldom is. He works at a construction site. Earlier in the evening, it was raining cats & dogs and he was under it. He looks so weak and in pain. Prepared a glass of warm milk for him and now he is fast asleep. Adik is also asleep in between my clothes on the clothes rack. Her favourite spot. I forced my brain to work a moment ago. I need to prepare a storyboard for my content script - my last job as a SME in the e-Learning team. Now I am an editor. My sweet adorable boss Kak Anita gave me the task to think out of the box in order for me to sort of revamp 3 in-house magazines. I used to be able to pluck creative ideas about almost anything as quick as lightning. But nowadays, after years if consuming anti-depression pills, my brain just refuses to work! I feel uneasy about this. ALOT! Most of the things I do nowadays are half ways. Take this blog for an instance, now I seldom post entries. It is like the passion of everything that I loved has left me for the moon or something. I can hardly win a game of solitaire !! And it takes ages for me to complete a sudoku puzzle. I am not focused at all. My body just goes on auto drive most of the time. Is this the road to recovery? Me being so numb and dumb? It sure is freaking me out. I need my 'mojo' ASAP.   Personally, I need to show to some few individuals that I am not a dumb blonde! One more thing. I do not shop anymore! Weird but true. No urge to buy anything. I need a netbook because my iBook died on me. But I just cannot bring myself to go to Digital Mall to grab one. I give all sorts of excuses to myself so that I would postpone the trip. Next would be my appitite. It is gone! I eat a bowl if ceral drink & coffee on a daily basis. And alot of water. I end up having to pee at least 10 times a day. And I seldom online in facebook. I realise that I have lost alot of friends but the ones I have now are awesome. Facebook is bad for people like me because there are alot of mean people out there who loves to spread gossips and rumours about just anyone whom they find weak and would not retaliate. Okie! It is now 1:45am. Sleep!