Death

Since I know how to think, I have always thought that I would die young and unmarried. But I am turning 44 this year and married. Hmmmmm. Honestly, death has always been in my mind. Morbid right? I am now in the living room at my mom’s. The place where I heard my mom crying out my late father’s name. The place where I heard her say “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Obviously I am crying right now. My late father passed away on 7/2/2018 and I was the second person to know that he had left us. 

I would be lying if I say that I will be ok when my mom… I don’t think I will be ok. Told my psychiatrist about it. She just said that I have to be prepared and all that. 

And now I am in the living room. My mom is in her room. I can see the door. Only the two of us tonight. I am scared shit.