tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43157989442779583382024-03-06T11:44:16.782+08:00S.I.Z.A.R.I.F.A.L.I.N.ASiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comBlogger887125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-71871926202572475882022-05-09T21:19:00.000+08:002022-05-09T21:19:36.431+08:00PSY WARD tonight?Hmmm TBH, mixed feelings about getting myself admitted tonight . It has been 4 years since my last admission . So I wonder how it would be like there. Still the same? More forbidden items? More rules ? I am just bringing things that I always did. Loads of books & a journal. Not sure about colouring books yet. Too many things at the moment. Ejad will bring my food tomorrow during his visit. Maybe I should let him bring the books tomorrow . Because I have the feeling that the nurses would complain because I am practically bringing 10 books đ . Yeah need to discuss it with Ejad before we leave for PPUM later tonight. SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-14251807290302749992022-04-13T18:26:00.001+08:002022-04-13T18:26:58.262+08:0012/10/2020
The day we got married was a day before his birthday and two days before mine. Yup we are both Libras.<div><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I knew that he is different from all the guys/men I have ever met. This is my third marriage. Third time the charm right? So at last I get to experience what marriage life is. It is definitely different than my first two. I am not gonna elaborate on those two people who did not stand up for me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Alhamdulillah , I met my husband. A gentleman , who is 11 years younger than me. It is like more than a decade of difference. We talk and discuss on things that are important for a married couples to stay together and be in love forever. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Both of us learn things about life together. This is something that keep our relationship stronger. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">There are more things that I want to write. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Will update later ya! </div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-48247082959141501992022-04-08T22:09:00.003+08:002022-04-08T22:09:42.257+08:00I dunno..
I have this strong feeling that I going to be paralysed waist down. The pain is unbearable . I cry each night. So I guess the psychiatric meds did nothing to my kidney but it messed up with my muscles & nerves. Every night is like a battle for me. I canât sleep because of the pain. I would end up taking double doasage . Yeah, OD again and again. I can hardly read and books. But with all the deadlines, I must finish the books. I pity my cats. I know that they miss me a lot. Boy would scream in front of the closed door, wanting to come in (or wet food)<div><br></div><div>I know Ejad is lost. He doesnât know what to do. All he can do is be there for me when I am in pain. Which is more enough actually.</div><div><br></div><div>End of this month , we will be going to Selayang Hospital to meet an Orthopaedic. </div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-39682048588725083112022-04-08T22:09:00.001+08:002022-04-08T22:09:40.859+08:00I dunno..
I have this strong feeling that I going to be paralysed waist down. The pain is unbearable . I cry each night. So I guess the psychiatric meds did nothing to my kidney but it messed up with my muscles & nerves. Every night is like a battle for me. I canât sleep because of the pain. I would end up taking double doasage . Yeah, OD again and again. I can hardly read and books. But with all the deadlines, I must finish the books. I pity my cats. I know that they miss me a lot. Boy would scream in front of the closed door, wanting to come in (or wet food)<div><br></div><div>I know Ejad is lost. He doesnât know what to do. All he can do is be there for me when I am in pain. Which is more enough actually.</div><div><br></div><div>End of this month , we will be going to Selayang Hospital to meet an Orthopaedic. </div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-28773074333741921162022-03-20T12:26:00.001+08:002022-03-20T12:26:11.887+08:00Crying<div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1PBHXYvNZL_zTvxj7mkS4fgi-59_Vtq8b" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1PBHXYvNZL_zTvxj7mkS4fgi-59_Vtq8b" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Iâve never woke up crying. Today it happened. I found myself crying when I opened my eyes. I dreamt that I was with my late father. My late father passed away in February 2018. My psychiatrist said I have not properly gone through the grieving stages. That is why I am kinda stuck. I know why. The morning my father passed away, I was crying. A relative sort of shouted at me and said stop crying! I stopped and did not cry for months after that. That is something you shouldnât do, forcing people not to cry when he/she just lost someone. The damage is long term.</div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-38475536241298558572022-03-18T15:49:00.001+08:002022-03-18T15:49:15.872+08:00Alhamdulillah It was an excruciating back pain. My legs were numb. My wasit was the worst. Shoulder blade was cramp. My whole body was experiencing muscle cramps. I cried alot. So we decided to get me a CT Scan. <div><br></div><div>At first Dr M wanted three parts of my back to be scanned but due to radiations, I could only do two parts.</div><div><br></div><div>I was anxious as always. Did two CT Scars before for my migraine. It was not a great experience as it took such a long time. The sound of the CT Scan machine was so loud.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1IHIhARSqsdSvWUAPwyvVutrfQgI4WO-N" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1IHIhARSqsdSvWUAPwyvVutrfQgI4WO-N" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Alhamdulillah , the CT Scan at Lifecare was practically soundless. It took about 45 minutes for both parts. But when I had to place my hands above my head, it was painful and my left arm went numb. My shoulder blade went stiff. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div><br></div><div>We had lunch while waiting for the result.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-jbq1TyHpmfrG62UXxcqRcKjKz2iZnKD" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-jbq1TyHpmfrG62UXxcqRcKjKz2iZnKD" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Alhamdulillah , Dr M told me that it wasnât slip disc. Mummy and I were so worried that it might be because the symptoms were there. But I do have Cronic Sinus and some of my backbones were smaller than normal. So I need to take some meds. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I guess the muscle cramps are the side effects of Seroquel that I have been taking for years. Yes the side effects are still there. After the Covid-19 Booster shot, the cramps got worst.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I needed to âcelebrateâ . So we went to Kinokuniya đ </div><div style="text-align: left;">I asked Ejad if I can buy a book. Only one. He said ok. Then when I showed him the book that I wanted, he said he knew it would be that book.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=11FAySU2E-TWomDojMbyNU-BtOiqDuTjD" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=11FAySU2E-TWomDojMbyNU-BtOiqDuTjD" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Before this, Junji Itoâs Mangas were out of stock. I have been looking for No Longer Human for ages. It was available! But the price made me think many times. But Ejad being Ejad said âBuy itâ So I went back happy with the book in hand. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-6551786965705160462022-02-27T23:40:00.001+08:002022-02-27T23:40:12.397+08:00I knowâŚ
When something is not right ⌠I know.<div>I cry everyday ⌠do you know?</div><div>Thereâs nothing I can do ⌠I know.</div><div>Your secret is too obvious ⌠do you know?</div><div>I am just going to see how long this will lastâŚ.</div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-315834306944695502022-02-25T00:39:00.001+08:002022-02-25T00:39:21.324+08:00Death
Since I know how to think, I have always thought that I would die young and unmarried. But I am turning 44 this year and married. Hmmmmm. Honestly, death has always been in my mind. Morbid right? I am now in the living room at my momâs. The place where I heard my mom crying out my late fatherâs name. The place where I heard her say âWhy didnât you tell me?â <div><br></div><div>Obviously I am crying right now. My late father passed away on 7/2/2018 and I was the second person to know that he had left us. </div><div><br></div><div>I would be lying if I say that I will be ok when my mom⌠I donât think I will be ok. Told my psychiatrist about it. She just said that I have to be prepared and all that. </div><div><br></div><div>And now I am in the living room. My mom is in her room. I can see the door. Only the two of us tonight. I am scared shit.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-77459645935417474162022-02-22T13:28:00.000+08:002022-02-22T13:28:49.797+08:00ATV <div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1_pM6R_B0iwHt8eAtra2plQSCDcDZP0Qe" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1_pM6R_B0iwHt8eAtra2plQSCDcDZP0Qe" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am so proud of my hubby. He drove an ATV. You see, Ejad doesnât drive or ride a motorcycle. He gets anxious. So when he agreed to go for ATV ride with family, I was shocked . To me, it is a big step for him. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1j040Iabz3cn0-Zp1uxkv8IHdur8NgaDl" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1j040Iabz3cn0-Zp1uxkv8IHdur8NgaDl" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">It was only rm80 (weekend) for a day at Uncle Wong Happy Farm. There are kayaks & pedal boats too. Including a rabbit farm and tortoises. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1MNWUq0B3_-Inu3wWFjsJ66TLLXPXRl6K" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1MNWUq0B3_-Inu3wWFjsJ66TLLXPXRl6K" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">My sister and my BIL<img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-ECj4KuHL2gUXJbvywbn3dOTE_Y0lFT9" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-ECj4KuHL2gUXJbvywbn3dOTE_Y0lFT9" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ejad & I </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-fEB_h_x9wOpp3ek84hggWGfpKCUo8y0" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-fEB_h_x9wOpp3ek84hggWGfpKCUo8y0" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">Fatihah & Luqmann</div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1qi8hgXwPxxjt4s-GM9PbkOG-kqW4M7KO" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1qi8hgXwPxxjt4s-GM9PbkOG-kqW4M7KO" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">Tortoises!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1nAPEuX9jhIDO4SKGToznxBA6KQxfm0Y1" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1nAPEuX9jhIDO4SKGToznxBA6KQxfm0Y1" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1s7c9Gt9arhZ0Y5LEXXyWE3LGkwf6s2Pg" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1s7c9Gt9arhZ0Y5LEXXyWE3LGkwf6s2Pg" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1v2mp8pLiMTipnHuPwVqHno7MI_rFFXd4" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1v2mp8pLiMTipnHuPwVqHno7MI_rFFXd4" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">My sister & her family </div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1xNBuoroe6cevlvVgJBYFozdce-5Te9pO" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1xNBuoroe6cevlvVgJBYFozdce-5Te9pO" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Will definitely come again when we are at PD! </div><div style="text-align: left;">For more information: <a href="https://instagram.com/unclewonghappyfarm?utm_medium=copy_link" title="Uncle Wong " style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Uncle Wong </a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-1950745179856075302022-02-17T03:27:00.000+08:002022-02-17T03:27:52.235+08:00O.D<div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1HtWJCrIVBjlLFbk_-06Yo-klabJMKEzC" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1HtWJCrIVBjlLFbk_-06Yo-klabJMKEzC" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I went back to the clinic. Was supposedly to be last week but I was too unstable to put my shoes on. So I called up the clinic and postponed the appointment. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Surprisingly there werenât much traffic on the road and also in the clinic. I had this book. Read a page. Then I started to feel anxious. Ejad was next to me. My tummy was aching like hell. Not only that, I think it is going to be a âheavy flowâ week again. Since after the booster shot, my flow is like a river.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I was second in que. Usually I would be the first but I guess someone was earlier than me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Anyway, I told Dr A almost all that had happened since we last met. The dreams, the arguments, the voices, the insecurities⌠the overdose. I was out last week. Ejad was worried. He tried to bring me to ED but I refused. He knows me too well to force me to go. But he didnât know that after he rushed back home from work after reading my WhatsApp message⌠a few days later , I overdosed- TWICE. </div><div style="text-align: left;">That is my life . It has always been since 2007. The only thing that changed is that I donât OD as often as I used too. Unfortunately, I had to do it before the voices convince me to jump over the balcony. If I jump, I would definitely be difficult to be identified. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">But the most important thing is that I told her the incident where I was accused by someone ( whom I respected ) of doing something that would never do! The president of an NGO ( someone I know since my college years ) had the audacity to message me and blatantly said horrible things. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Dear Madam President,</div><div style="text-align: left;">You should have called. Be professional. Ejad & I have been volunteering when the NGO had less than 10 volunteers for goodness sakes! (2017) And now that you have over 1k of volunteers, you just âlostâ your common sense? So I have cancelled you off 100% . I am worth more than Whatsapp messages. Fix your ânew teamâ & donât forget those who have helped you. Now that the OGs are no longer with you , I hope you will realise how much damages you have caused to a lot of people. This incident caused me a lot of emotional feud between me and myself. You should know better. One word to describe you : UNGRATEFUL. Now I know why my many people left and never returned . Whose fault? Only you know the answer because most of them were too scared to tell me what had happened because I was close with you (recently I was informed) When you accidentally sent me a screenshot of the WhatsApp conversation we were at that time, I knew you were too proud. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I can only pray that no one will have to go through what I did with you. But knowing youâŚ. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Siz-</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">So yeah. The above is among many reasons I went numb and stupid. I was causing a lot of unnecessary stress to Ejad. Alhamdulillah, he understands me enough to know that I am in a âphaseâ He just nodded when I said that I ODed ( I think he knew ) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">So I picked up myself, spent time with my family and attended my dance class ( yeah! Will blog about it soon) I was in a horrible state. But not as bad as it used to be. I would often, literally zoned out. But this time I was 50/50 . Dr. A said she is glad that I no longer check in on yearly basis. The last time I was warded was after my late father passed away in 2018. 4 years! A big achievement for both of us. 2007-2017. Countless check-ins to the Psy Ward.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Alhamdulillah, I have a good support system</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-74545262225695791632022-02-15T07:50:00.001+08:002022-02-15T07:50:22.912+08:00V day !<div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1OdK4Su8jCFcTNcA0FmUFJbepR1L3P_wm" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1OdK4Su8jCFcTNcA0FmUFJbepR1L3P_wm" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am not surprise that Ejad did not realise that yesterday was V day because we have never crlebrated it. 𤣠But since it is his day off, we had a very late lunch. Had to send Blackie for service before we are headed to Port Dickons with the my family soon. I have been anxiously getting prepared for the trip. The kaftans that I bought just for this trip. đ It has been so long since all of us went for a trip together. Years actually. I think the last trip was with my late father and it was to PD too đ </div><div style="text-align: left;">Anyway I went to a Muslimah Hair Salon yesterday at TTDI. Surprisingly it was affordable. Definitely going to go there again. </div><div style="text-align: left;">We stayed up late yesterday. I decided to clear up the second bedroom. Oh dear! I have so many clothes . Not forgetting the books in my third room. My mini library & Ejadâs gaming room. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Will be meeting my Dr. A today. Not sure what to say to her because there are too many! Urgh ! I always end up not saying much. I feel insecure now that I am remarried. HaihâŚ.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-48086514762546622232022-02-11T12:15:00.000+08:002022-02-11T12:15:49.253+08:00After such a long hiatus.<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; display: inline !important;">I am now married to this man , Surizat Amaludin. </span><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1Gi4rCjhN4X11q7Vp2PNgRgIkggRWD1va" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1Gi4rCjhN4X11q7Vp2PNgRgIkggRWD1va" style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; display: inline !important;">(Ejad Feb 2022)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1nyZze8OiQAl1gvzLH3bFlz0Nd6XroH14" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1nyZze8OiQAl1gvzLH3bFlz0Nd6XroH14" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Ejad 2017)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ok am am blogging via a smartphone. So I am not so sure how this would turn out. Anyway , my hubby Ejad is the breadwinner of our small family.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1O53HUvcgsDt0GYLspbAB5IB68nG7DdhT" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1O53HUvcgsDt0GYLspbAB5IB68nG7DdhT" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;">Boy, Girl & Adik.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am now retired because of obvious reasons. Too sick to be responsible enough to hold a job? Too tired to face people who just donât care ? My brain malfunctioned after the Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) ? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Something happened to me this week. That is the reason I am starting to blog again. Wonder who is reading this blog. If you are, please leave a comment.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1lU4czk7NLMyAcRkfWl7JZlCJ2LwtAqlR" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1lU4czk7NLMyAcRkfWl7JZlCJ2LwtAqlR" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;">(L-R : Tata, Ejad , Me & Kak Ngah)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"> I got married during the Covid-19 period. A day before lockdown 2.0 . Fuh! It was a relief actually to be married during a lockdown. 𤣠Seriously! Even though there were a few hurdles that I had to jump alone due to SOPs and all, I am glad that I had Ejad to hang out with during Lockdown 2.0</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1RGby09VEBRl15dCiAvFDBsDl_n6Ar_Em" alt="https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1RGby09VEBRl15dCiAvFDBsDl_n6Ar_Em" style="max-height: 80%; max-width: 80%; height: auto; width: auto;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Sitting: L-R: Mummy , Aiman , Fatihah, âAisya, Luqman & Anissa - her hubby is not in the picture</div><div style="text-align: center;">Standing : L-R Kak Long , Yaya , Syafiq , Ejad & Me )</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><font color="#000000" face="sans-serif" size="3"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.3); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Any how, my elder sister , my niece & nephew are back from Melbourne. They couldnât come back because of Covid-19 . So the picture above is the birthday dinner we had for âAisya at Kak Longâs house. Oja, my nephew-in-law is not in the pic because he was working. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.3); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.3); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am off for now. Lots to write about. </span></font></div></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-48347929635818531332018-05-25T04:14:00.000+08:002018-05-25T04:14:14.971+08:00Whoa!<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
When was my last entry?<br />
Donkey years ago!<br />
OMG!<br />
<br />
Now I am still contemplating on whether I should revamp this blog or leave it as it is.<br />
<br />
Anyway, there are loads of things that I want to write about.<br />
<br />
Some of the important facts about me that I need to update here.<br />
<br />
1. My father passed away. (AL-Fatihah)<br />
2. Divorced - AGAIN<br />
3. Lost my job<br />
<br />
All the of the above happened to me in the first four months of 2018.<br />
<br />
This is the toughest Ramadhan for me because of the above three and also , yes I am still sick.<br />
<br />
I have taken more than 20 types of psychiatric meds.<br />
<br />
Warded...er I have lost count.<br />
<br />
I guess this is all for tonight ( er, it is 4:02 am)<br />
<br />
There's a meeting tomorrow with MIASA and PPUKM<br />
( Will explain later about MIASA)<br />
<br />
Before I end this entry.<br />
My latest pic!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjIplbqqWUdd15qFuy5hld2mH3oWUZQBekBfTUXTo3yOzHPPY1ET9_TZVS6VYPA8JCJjJ-FSYOSJxJtFCQfGg1jAWqtOZ1NDfqkRqa5IGXUJprdISguDZuueBkkHIQvGT3FRf8t4nIwR51/s1600/IMG20180424142447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjIplbqqWUdd15qFuy5hld2mH3oWUZQBekBfTUXTo3yOzHPPY1ET9_TZVS6VYPA8JCJjJ-FSYOSJxJtFCQfGg1jAWqtOZ1NDfqkRqa5IGXUJprdISguDZuueBkkHIQvGT3FRf8t4nIwR51/s320/IMG20180424142447.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="https://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-4199674205568387542017-05-03T12:39:00.001+08:002017-05-03T12:40:53.013+08:00lost<p dir="ltr">i am lost. my brain feels as if it is gonna burst. i need to be caged again. i need to go far. leave everyone. good bye.</p>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-15878396850832982082017-04-02T11:16:00.001+08:002017-04-02T11:16:30.035+08:00Emo lagi<p dir="ltr">Hari ni aku emo. Aku sakit. Aku gila. Korang ingat best ke? Takpe la. Aku dok diam korang pijak belakang aku. Aku bukan jenis complain. Aku biar je. </p>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-49298407854315376262017-04-01T00:38:00.001+08:002017-04-01T00:38:31.133+08:00Emo me<p dir="ltr">Aku duduk termanggu. Mengenangkan nasib yang menyelubungiku. Apakah malangnya hidup ini. Tapi aku tahu. Aku harus bersyukur. Aku masih boleh menghirup udara Allah. Bisa melihat awan dan bulan. Menyebut dua kalimah syahadah. Mendengar laungan azan. Adakah diriku terlalu memikirkan hal duniawi sehingga aku lupa kebesaranNya? Mengapa suara-suara menyapa menghantui jiwa yang nipis? Mungkin kerna aku tidak bersyukur dan zalim pada diri sendiri? Manusia mudah leka dengan hal remeh. Sehingga lupa adanya Yang Maha Kuasa. Yang bisa melegakan hati yang gusar. Yang bisa menyenangkan yang susah. Aku hanya manusia biasa yang menagih kasih sayang dari manusia juga. Aku harus keluar dari kotak gelap yang lambat laun akan membinasakan diriku secara senyap. Aku harus bangkit melaungkan kesyukuran kepadaNya. Ya Allah, lindungilah diriku dari diriku. - sizarifalina 31/3/17-21:20</p>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-16244616478807442532014-05-01T00:51:00.001+08:002014-05-01T00:51:27.160+08:00out os sight.out of mind.,but<p dir="ltr">deep inside you know it still exists.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My depression is still in me. Now i am also diagnosed as having a Borderline Personality Disorder. Why aam i being so open about this? won't it ruin my career and life altogether? <br>
Well i do not want to hide it. It is so painful to hide actually. Suffering alone. So now i am in contact with atleast 9 other souls who are diagnised with the same thing.<br>
It is nothing that i am ashamed of. It is a gift. Allah knows best. And this is His wake up call. </p>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-3414779983885512462012-09-24T08:16:00.000+08:002012-09-24T08:16:52.810+08:00My first published work! BOLA Antologi Cerpen<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcy2jQ_gUpv2zMAgyZJY0ZcquqAGNcePAIfaw8h6t3fjVY7eUjC_aiL1gPEwjzH3YL_3qp7d3tanhricYtcNIwmIpe7ztg8HeS-PVYfQRApCOpcRJlz1KMi6SwsPqfIBRf9Qnb21pf90Ui/s1600/fixi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcy2jQ_gUpv2zMAgyZJY0ZcquqAGNcePAIfaw8h6t3fjVY7eUjC_aiL1gPEwjzH3YL_3qp7d3tanhricYtcNIwmIpe7ztg8HeS-PVYfQRApCOpcRJlz1KMi6SwsPqfIBRf9Qnb21pf90Ui/s400/fixi.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetNXVolpKDGsJZxA-02GjamdwEsJX8RljPw9-JSJU9t7CZ4XFbX4MbF1VSdbpjdUNC7gCo9on0mrxQwJOxGGP2iuXQ2O1AMxBASgzimhFpSCxD1qIPSQexrcKEb5D9zLsmrhjKPihenTO/s1600/bola.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetNXVolpKDGsJZxA-02GjamdwEsJX8RljPw9-JSJU9t7CZ4XFbX4MbF1VSdbpjdUNC7gCo9on0mrxQwJOxGGP2iuXQ2O1AMxBASgzimhFpSCxD1qIPSQexrcKEb5D9zLsmrhjKPihenTO/s320/bola.jpg" width="305" /></a></div>
<br />
Well, I think there was an entry about me winning the Fixi contest.<br />
I submitted 2 certot ( 300 words ) and both won.<br />
The famous Namron was the judge.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin7_Y5Op4Lx6rXssjzp6RtqZBjRfSqbpDCox7TiuPk9lZOqrOJqXUhLfeMwGwTR9vxQXBNyM8tBKaDC7IPKqMFSiPMr-D9gCGpn_HoaoojBT805HXIoKe42RbkW1xrTgSfea8S_TkcBAY1/s1600/namron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin7_Y5Op4Lx6rXssjzp6RtqZBjRfSqbpDCox7TiuPk9lZOqrOJqXUhLfeMwGwTR9vxQXBNyM8tBKaDC7IPKqMFSiPMr-D9gCGpn_HoaoojBT805HXIoKe42RbkW1xrTgSfea8S_TkcBAY1/s320/namron.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
( picture taken at Arts for Grabs 22/9/2012)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I was given the opportunity to write a 'cerpen' .</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Among other authors are:- </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Ridhwan Saidi</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Nadia Khan</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Raja Faisal</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> Zara Syed Shafaza</span>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;">Shaz Johar</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;">Dayang Noor</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;">Syaihan Syafiq</span></div>
<br />
Do grab one on 1st October 2012 via online<br />
For more info <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BukuCeprenBola">https://www.facebook.com/BukuCeprenBola</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>
SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-2087309630935230242012-07-12T18:38:00.000+08:002012-07-12T18:40:58.829+08:00So sorry for being tardy.<br />
I think it has been ages since I last updated this blog. Well it is due to some personal problems actually plus medical. I am currently suffering some medication withdrawals. Stammering, tremors, my body temperature is kinda weird because I would have these low grade fever , nausea, headaches that would turn to migraine. Basically - withdrawals. I have been goin to the hospital and clinics. But nothing seems to work. I just have to endure the stammering and tremors ( it drains my energy out! ) in the end I choose not to talk much and sleep. If I am awake I would get exhausted easily because I would try to stop the tremors ( and fails badly ) The best way (at the moment) is to stay home. I can still remember my last visit to the hospital, everyone looked at me. It was really embarrassing. I was fidgeting badly and really looked like a Psycho! I decided to sleep on the couch while waiting for my turn. My parents are really sad. I know because they are trying their best to console me when I try to talk. I would end up crying because I would repeat words and get so tired trying to talk. I had to resort to Send SMS to my dad just to have a conversation. One thing I know, I am going to loose my job if I am not cured soon.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-48520104216608487322012-04-26T10:06:00.001+08:002012-04-26T10:06:57.970+08:00[Bipolar] Quotes About Bipolar<div style="text-align: center;">
Credits to : <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/bipolar?id=bipolar">http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/bipolar?id=bipolar</a><br />
<br />
âI'm the girl who is lost in space, <br />
the girl who is disappearing always, <br />
forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. <br />
Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, <br />
but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve,<br />
the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, <br />
will remain behind as an ironic remnant. <br />
I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party<br />
someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. <br />
When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, <br />
I will no longer be there. <br />
I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. <br />
Because with every day that goes by, <br />
I feel myself becoming more and more invisible...â <br />
<br />
<br />
â Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
âOthers imply that they know what it is like to be depressed <br />
because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. <br />
But these experiences carry with them feelings. <br />
Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. <br />
It is also tiresome. <br />
<strong>People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed</strong>. <br />
They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, <br />
but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: <br />
you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and <br />
critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. <br />
You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're <br />
"not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.â <br />
<br />
<br />
â Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
âThere is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, <br />
and terror involved in this kind of madness. <br />
When you're high it's tremendous. <br />
The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, <br />
and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. <br />
Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, <br />
the power to captivate others a felt certainty. <br />
There are interests found in uninteresting people. <br />
Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. <br />
Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, <br />
and euphoria pervade one's marrow. <br />
But, somewhere, this changes. <br />
The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; <br />
overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. <br />
Memory goes. <br />
Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. <br />
Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-- <br />
<strong>you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind.</strong> <br />
You never knew those caves were there. <br />
It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.â <br />
<br />
<br />
â Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
âManic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, <br />
destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. <br />
It is an illness that is biological in its origins, <br />
yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, <br />
an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, <br />
yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering <br />
and, not infrequently, suicide.â <br />
<br />
<br />
â Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
â<strong>When I am high I couldnât worry about money if I tried.</strong> <br />
So I donât. <br />
The money will come from somewhere; <br />
I am entitled; <br />
God will provide. <br />
Credit cards are disastrous, personal checks worse. <br />
Unfortunately, for manics anyway, mania is a natural extension of the economy. <br />
What with credit cards and bank accounts there is little beyond reach. <br />
So I bought twelve snakebite kits, with a sense of urgency and importance. <br />
I bought precious stones, elegant and unnecessary furniture, <br />
three watches within an hour of one another <br />
(in the Rolex rather than Timex class: <br />
champagne tastes bubble to the surface, are the surface, in mania), <br />
and totally inappropriate sirenlike clothes. <br />
During one spree in London I spent several hundred pounds on books <br />
having titles or covers that somehow caught my fancy: <br />
books on the natural history of the mole, <br />
twenty sundry Penguin books because I thought it could be nice <br />
if the penguins could form a colony. <br />
Once I think I shoplifted a blouse because I could not wait a minute longer <br />
for the woman-with-molasses feet in front of me in line. <br />
Or maybe I just thought about shoplifting, I donât remember, <br />
I was totally confused. <br />
I imagine I must have spent far more than thirty thousand dollars <br />
during my two major manic episodes, <br />
and God only knows how much more <br />
during my frequent milder manias. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But then back on lithium and rotating on the planet at the same pace as everyone else, <br />
you find your credit is decimated,<br />
your mortification complete: mania is not a luxury one can easily afford. <br />
It is devastating to have the illness and aggravating to have to pay for medications, <br />
blood tests, and psychotherapy. <br />
They, at least, are partially deductible. <br />
But money spent while manic doesnât fit into t<br />
he Internal Revenue Service concept of medical expense or business loss. <br />
So after mania, when most depressed, <br />
youâre given excellent reason to be even more so.â <br />
<br />
â Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
<br />
â<strong>Depression is a painfully slow, crashing death.</strong> <br />
Mania is the other extreme, a wild roller coaster run off its tracks, <br />
an eight ball of coke cut with speed. <br />
It's fun and it's frightening as hell. <br />
Some patients - bipolar type I - experience both extremes; <br />
other - bipolar type II - suffer depression almost exclusively. <br />
But the "mixed state," the mercurial churning of both high and low, <br />
is the most dangerous, the most deadly. <br />
<strong>Suicide too often results from the impulsive nature </strong><br />
<strong>and physical speed of psychotic mania coupled with </strong><br />
<strong>depression's paranoid self-loathing.â</strong> <br />
<br />
<br />
â David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-5587080276239521372012-04-13T12:17:00.000+08:002012-04-13T12:20:23.623+08:00[Siz] Frankly speaking...<div style="text-align: center;">
... I do not feel good.<br />
<br />
it is as if a catastrophe is going to happen any time soon!<br />
<br />
Is somebody going to die?<br />
<br />
Am I going to die?<br />
<br />
accident?<br />
<br />
am I going to loose something?<br />
<br />
are aliens coming to invade is and declare war?<br />
<br />
My goodness the list can go on and on.<br />
<br />
I hate it when this feelings come.<br />
<br />
It will make me thing of al sorts of unrelated things.<br />
<br />
On top of it all, i will become very mood and easily ticked off<br />
[ which I already am]<br />
<br />
Goodness.<br />
<br />
I am trying to calm myself down without taking any medication.<br />
<br />
Hah! who am I trying to fool here?<br />
<br />
myself?<br />
<br />
It is impossible because obviously it has something to do with my imbalanced hormones.<br />
<br />
Read Yassin and a few surahs to sleep last night, hoping that I would be okie by today.<br />
<br />
But then, it did not work - YET! cause I am still reciting some Zikirs and Surahs.<br />
<br />
At the moment I feel so sleepy.<br />
<br />
Must be the Xanax.<br />
<br />
but still.<br />
<br />
For the past week, without taking any Xanax - i am sleepy 24/7 already.<br />
<br />
Okie - Am I thinking too much?<br />
<br />
But then the doctor did say yesterday that my blood pressure is quite high.<br />
<br />
needs to be monitored.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixkrGdQDfjXX4NGIgefSrylwH7Oejo06LOwXoEHiofxyiUI3MddRbp6Wam274RbfUkhWr0rNOTThqgiw-xpghd6DYIZ5BbuXjxyM2lMWvMoZFHa-9jzXpJggrItnlvFeHrAanDFu1xySwV/s1600/kayuhkota1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixkrGdQDfjXX4NGIgefSrylwH7Oejo06LOwXoEHiofxyiUI3MddRbp6Wam274RbfUkhWr0rNOTThqgiw-xpghd6DYIZ5BbuXjxyM2lMWvMoZFHa-9jzXpJggrItnlvFeHrAanDFu1xySwV/s400/kayuhkota1a.jpg" width="322" /></a></div>
<br />
[p.s : i look fat because i am !]<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-68985455769556933852012-04-09T12:04:00.000+08:002012-04-09T12:04:16.320+08:00[Siz] Tanya Dain Said di Rumah Pena<div style="text-align: center;">
p/s write up coming soon.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieW76jEnUrgOdv5a-s_aGJ0zNYAZRRADGuGEad1RgB53n7Bbi_ADXfZOtjUfISFt2hzyVw70fOTJMJFDtbdx7uZTqhMymYXutkGcJ5XCUnr8f5LFjnYNQ1LksYRWxnT1SAB3pYA1_wXGK/s1600/bunohan1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieW76jEnUrgOdv5a-s_aGJ0zNYAZRRADGuGEad1RgB53n7Bbi_ADXfZOtjUfISFt2hzyVw70fOTJMJFDtbdx7uZTqhMymYXutkGcJ5XCUnr8f5LFjnYNQ1LksYRWxnT1SAB3pYA1_wXGK/s640/bunohan1.jpg" width="462" /></a></div>
<br />
Sebelum tuh , cuba baca review-review mengenai filem Bunohan.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://tontonfilem.blogspot.com/2012/03/tuhan-terima-kasih-demi-bunohan2012.html?spref=fb">tontonfilem</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://binfilem.blogspot.com/2012/03/keaghaiban-bunohan.html">binfilem</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://mstar.com.my/hiburan/cerita.asp?file=/2012/3/16/mstar_hiburan/20120315193643&sec=mstar_hiburan">mStar</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://zahiriladzim.blogspot.com/2012/03/bunohan.html">ZahirilAdzim</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.thesundaily.my/news/316570">theSunDaily</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.hmetro.com.my/articles/Bunohanterusdapatpujian/Article">hMetro</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-16660654384718202622012-04-03T10:14:00.000+08:002012-04-03T10:14:34.278+08:00[Buku] Nakal karya Aloy Paradoks<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13510009-nakal" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px;"><img alt="Nakal" border="0" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1330819339m/13510009.jpg" /></a><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13510009-nakal">Nakal</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5099842.Aloy_Paradoks">Aloy Paradoks</a><br />
<br />
My rating: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/305558967">4 of 5 stars</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Tajuknya Nakal. Jangan terpedaya ok. Aloy tak tulis cerita mengenai satu jenis nakal tau. Nakal dalam buku ini merangkumi semua jenis nakal yang boleh dikategorikan sebagai nakal. Dalam buku ini,ada certot yang sedih,suspen, erotika ezotika, dalam dan luar negara, zaman silam dan zaman sekarang,hikayat Dan mengayat aweks.Senang mcm mi la..bila baca buku Nakal,Siz rasa macam pergi kedai masakan Thai.Makan nasi putih, berlauk.Semua jenis lauk melambangkan satu certot yang ada dalam buku Nakal! Hahahaha! tahniah Aloy! Terus berkarya. P/s Buku Nakal ini sesuai bagi mereka yang dok tenung pc kat ofis. Behenti seketika, rehatkan mata..baca NAKAL! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/3712998-sizarifalina">View all my reviews</a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-18340587044402033842012-03-27T20:31:00.001+08:002012-03-27T20:31:45.167+08:00[Review Buku ] Kopi : Bahagian I<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13508728-kopi" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px;"><img alt="Kopi" border="0" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1330743582m/13508728.jpg" /></a><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13508728-kopi">Kopi</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4768605.Amir_Muhammad">Amir Muhammad</a><br />
<br />
My rating: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/291087297">4 of 5 stars</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Okie.sejujurnya, buku Kopi nih masih lagi siz hirup sikit demi sikit. so, pendek kata review buku Kopi siz akan ada Bahagian Kedua.<br />
<br />
1. Shaz Johar masih lagik mengekalkan tema ironinya dalam Kopi 3 Rasa. Jenuh argue dengan Zam mengenai erti KOPI O dalam cerpen tuh. Tapi ternyata, lepas tonton short filem Kopi 3 Rasa, ternyata interpretation Siz Tepat!<br />
<br />
2. Ridhwan Saidi...ishk! This guy is extremely absolutely talented ( actually pada masa yang sama siz sedang baca bukunya yang terbaru MAUTOPIA. Pening sikit sebab dah macam buku literature zaman Siz ambik American Literature do Universiti jadinya ) . Tapi yang membuatkan siz tersedak sebab nak tergelak bila terbaca ayat ini "p/s : Jangan lupa sembahyang" Kenapa? Sebab ayat itu lah yang bro Ridhwan tulis dalam buku Amerika Siz! Just put it this way. His works are all mind blowing. Long short. Thin thick. He is twisted and definitely in his own world!<br />
<br />
Nadia Khan : hihihihih sifat romantis Dan ending cerita cliffhanger masih Kekal.<br />
<br />
Gina : bukan ngeri dah NIH....serum terus bulu Roma!<br />
<br />
Adib : masih dalam duni fantasi. BAGUS!<br />
<br />
Dayang Noor : Hebat! Rupanya dia boleh menulis selain genre IT. ( Hye Kak Dayang! )<br />
<br />
Zara! : Bakat fresh from the oven. Pandai bermain ayat Dan out of the box! Memang Ada unsur 'terkaftab' . Tapi jangan risau! Very light. Siapa sangka sperm,Kopi Dan jubah boleh bersatu kan?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Okie...tunggu Bahagian kedua! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/3712998-sizarifalina">View all my reviews</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315798944277958338.post-42671649469092370292012-03-27T15:55:00.000+08:002012-03-27T15:58:11.831+08:00[Siz] Honestly..<div style="text-align: center;">
Banyak giler buku nak dibaca and di review sekarang nih.<br />
<br />
<i>Writer's block</i> pulak dah <i>unblocked.</i><br />
<br />
habis ber keceramuk dalam otak nih.<br />
<br />
<i>Seriously I am reading too many books now.</i><br />
<br />
4-5 buku dalam masa yang sama.<br />
<br />
Lepas baca beberapa muka surat MAUTOPIA,<br />
<br />
baca pulak NAKAL,<br />
<br />
Then baca ROOM,<br />
<br />
Selak pulak BISIK,<br />
<br />
Then sambung tulis certot!<br />
<br />
ishk. otak jam DOH!<br />
<br />
Sampai buku <i>self motivation</i> pun Siz bantai baca.<br />
<br />
hahahahahahaha<br />
<br />
Dunia ku dah kembali normal sebenarnya.<br />
<br />
Hidupku sememangnya kelamkabut<br />
<br />
Memang bagus macam ini.<br />
<br />
It makes me feel that <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">I AM ALIVE!</span></b><br />
<br />
Dulu terperuk emo and depressed memanjang.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SELAMAT TINGGAL </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">ZAMAN DEPRESSION KU!</span></b><br />
<br />
p/s petang nih larat ke aku nak berbasikal? Beli basikal lipat rm280.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiILMTF1rWkeiWO5Xyalt2_WXohmtyFAhZK34tRVlLYM0Ky_msrDSVWqddXfMGLQRS8VzS1ZxsYPQ4Y2F2mT1SP4xtL7gINi1DpH0w1hDMSVU1lawhu2fbSNXNzcd_8T4zvHUr5bPJ43sqo/s1600/17a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiILMTF1rWkeiWO5Xyalt2_WXohmtyFAhZK34tRVlLYM0Ky_msrDSVWqddXfMGLQRS8VzS1ZxsYPQ4Y2F2mT1SP4xtL7gINi1DpH0w1hDMSVU1lawhu2fbSNXNzcd_8T4zvHUr5bPJ43sqo/s400/17a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/377/AAD550BC97860BF2BF9C1EAD9BD1B8AE.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>SiZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14282500672163593721noreply@blogger.com